My struggles with self care - 3 things I've realised

Do you feel bad that you don’t look after yourself ‘as well’ as others? Do you think taking time out for yourself is a, ‘nice to do’ rather than a, ‘must do’? Me too. Well at least I did. I still do to a certain extent, but my attitudes on the matter are slowly shifting. Here’s 3 things I have realised. 

1. It's NOT being selfish

"You need to be a bit selfish sometimes”. 

I’m sure I've been guilty of saying this to a friend when trying to reassure them it was ok to do something for themselves. But the thing is – it’s not.

I know when I repeatedly have to push aside things I want to do for something or someone else, I do end up feeling sad, frustrated and angry. It ends up coming out in passive aggressive ways and I don’t think that’s fair on anyone because I didn’t speak up and say ‘I need to do this’.

2. Protect your 'me time' 

Leading on from this, I've realised it's in everyone elses' interest, as well as my own, to honour plans for downtime that I may have made for myself. 

Changing my attitude in this way has meant I'm more likley to try and figure out a solution if a potential scheduling conflict arises.

3. It's what makes YOU happy

For some people downtime might be a cosy night in whilst others may prefer a night out. Some people might like to get away, go for a walk, have a coffee, or something as simple as light a scented candle to help them unwind.

It’s important to think about what makes you happy and helps you relax.

For me it’s things like having a relaxed cup of coffee, watching something funny on tv and talking to my sister.For others that might not be enough. They may need a yoga retreat or a spa break. And whilst I wouldn’t say no to those options, if I’m truly honest about what makes me happy and helps me relax, it’s really casual and simple things like the things I have mentioned above. 

 Taking my me time more seriously and protecting it by verbalising the importance of it to others, has helped to try and do some small things consistently.

It takes time to form new habits and it certainly doesn't feel like second nature yet. But that's why it's so important for me to continue scheduling in 20-30 minutes a week doing something I like. I'm more likley to be able to plan things around it, if it's blocked out in the calender. Also this amount of time is realistic for me at the moment. I can easily do things at home in this time, that I find relaxing. Put on a face mask, talk to my sister, have a coffee or watch an episode of something or another.